Something I Thought I'd Never Say

Eric is a clever little guy. Today he figured out how to turn on the t.v. He started using his index finger to press buttons a few days ago, but he's reaching a point where he can cause chaos.

When he found the t.v. remote today, he pressed the "FIOS" button, which lit up the "power" button. He then pressed the power button and Oprah was on that particular channel. Eric happily dropped the remote and crawled over to the t.v. He glanced back at me while standing up and banging away on the t.v. And then he did something that made me laugh out loud. He started licking the t.v. He stood back for a moment, then proceeded to lick Oprah cleavage on the television. This prompted me to say something I never thought I would say. "Honey, please stop licking Oprah's cleavage."

Our telephone is no longer safe. Making or taking calls has become a hassle, as he seems to instinctively know where the "off" button is. I think his favorite toys, in order are as follows-

1. Window-blind cords. There really is a reason why they have those warning labels that say "This is not a toy."

2. The microwave. Fortunately (or unfortunately) this is mounted over our stovetop. So Eric can't reach it, but he can start smiling and wiggling happily when he is walked past the microwave.

3. The air purifier. I just put this on the floor and let him have at it. I figure, it's small and he can't hurt himself.

4. Tissues have become a new toy. He just takes them out of the box one by one. The hyper-allergenic mom with the sinus issues is not pleased.

5. Remotes, but not TOY remotes (those are lame, mom).

6. Telephones.

And because he's a boy, every day is Baby Suicide Day. He goes for the stairs at least 3 times a day. Every time he crawls away from me, panting in anticipation, and heads for the stairs I jokingly refer to it as "Baby Suicide Attempt Number 1" etc. And then when I grab him before he has a chance to get near the top, I imagine Eric saying "Baby Suicide Attempt Number 1 thwarted." I imagine many people reading this will think I'm somehow a bad parent. These people don't have little boys. :-)