Sunday, June 19, 2011

I am bummed

Tonight is the last episode of the Game of Thrones mini-series on HBO. If you haven't seen this, you're either
1) Not willing to be indebted to your inflation-flaunting cable provider to get HBO. And unless you watch a lot of movies, or really enjoy watching vampire soap operas on your flat-screen, I can't blame you.
2) You find fantasy to be tedious. Ahem... WHY do you read my blog???

It could also be that you have never read the books. I warn anyone who likes fantasy that A Song of Ice and Fire saga by George R R Martin is not your typical fantasy series, at least not any series I've ever read. Most fantasy books have cool creatures like dragons. There are dragons in these books... eventually. But honestly, where are the unicorns?? I mean, even Harry Potter had unicorns! Dead ones, but that's besides the point...

Nothing is left to the imagination in the Game of Thrones, the first book in the series. And you find out pretty quickly that Mr. Martin has a very twisted imagination: lots of rape, incest, murder. The HBO version, while quite graphic, doesn't show nearly as much as it should...

I didn't know what I was getting into when I started reading these books. In my defense, they are very well-written. I even fell in love with a few of the characters. Which brings me to my final and most dire warning: George kills characters cavalierly and without any discernible reason. If you enjoy books mainly for the character development, as I do, this will really piss you off!

The entire saga is supposed to be 7 (I think 8 at this point) books in length. And I was pregnant with ERIC when the next (5th?) book was supposed to be released. That's 3 years later than the original release date for those of you who stumbled here by accident and/or don't keep track of my kids' birthdays. 3 years. To wait. For. A. Sequel.

But I will miss this HBO mini-series. The actors did an amazing job with each and every character. The casting was phenomenal. Even the opening credits were amazing and helpful for newbies to keep track of the different characters and their houses. Most of the lines in the mini-series were taken verbatim from the book, which is very cool to a fan of the series. Lastly, anyone can follow the complex plot even if he/she had never read the book. If you enjoy fantasy, or just like watching a well-done story unfold, I hope you'll find the episodes and treat yourself.

[Sigh] Until the return of Castle in the fall... farewell T.V.

Friday, June 10, 2011

If my children end up alcoholics by the third grade, it will totally be my fault

Today was "Water Day" at Eric's preschool. Parents and families were invited to watch their wildlings jump from kiddie pool to kiddie pool in 90+ degree heat. It was a lot of fun. Seriously.

Parents were given a list of items to bring including water shoes, a change of clothes, sunscreen, and a towel for the kids to sit on during snack time in addition to drying off.

These were the towels of the other kids in Eric's class...
And this was my son's towel:
Encouraging alcohol consumption, one preschooler at a time. I'm pretty sure this is why my kids don't get play dates.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I'm pretty sure I deserve a raise

So I was thinking about being a stay at home mom, and how John gets a pay check every single day for working at a desk (with unlimited internet access) for only 8 hours. And I thought I really, really deserve a pay check for my 12-14 hour a day, physically and mentally-exhausting yet under-stimulating daily grind. I also thought John should pay for it since he technically got me into this mess. But when I carefully broached the subject (because you have to be careful about beginning a conversation with "I need a raise" let alone "I need a pay check"), John wasn't as receptive as I'd hoped.

Me: I need a pay check.

John: You want to go back to work?

Me: I AM at work. That's my point. I'm slave labor. I need a pay check for being a mom. Which means, I think you should pay me for my hours of servitude.

John: You want me to pay you?

Me: I was just thinking that it would be nice to have a pay check once a week that I could go to the bank and cash...

John: You want me to write a check out of our bank account, and then put it back into the same account?

Me: When you put it THAT way, you make it sound like I'm stealing family money. But really, it would be like stealing from the rich to give to the poor...

John: Who's the poor in this scenario?

Me: I was also calculating my Paid Time Off...

John: What about gas reimbursement?

Me: Excellent point! You should totally be reimbursing me for gas! After all, I drive the kids to appointments, pick Eric up from school... it's only fair.

John: I meant YOU reimburse ME!

Me: Whatever for? I don't even USE your car! So let's talk about PTO...

John: ??

Me: I think I deserve Paid Time Off for every dirty diaper changed. Let's say... an hour for every poopy diaper. So let's calculate this... Rachel is now 2...

John: I get PTO for every SIX HOURS WORKED!

Me: Ok, fine. Six poopy diapers for an hour of PTO. I can negotiate....

John: No PTO... this is your job. Suck it up.

Me: Fine. I quit.

John: You want to tell the kids that their Mommy is leaving?

Me: Eric, Mommy is leaving.

Eric: Umm... Can I have a popsicle?

Me: See? You could replace me tomorrow with a Bolivian house-keeper, and the kids totally wouldn't notice. I put up with a lot of crap, but do I complain?

John: YES!

Me: Standing up for my civil rights is not the same thing as complaining. You're The Man, and you're just trying to keep me down.

Laurie: Don't let 'The Man' keep you down!

Eric: Mommy, I need your help. I have to poop.

Me: I think wiping another person's behind is overtime!

Eric: Daddy, pay Mommy overtime!

Me: Did you hear that???

John: I'm ignoring you....

P.S. In hindsight, I should have hired a lawyer. I think I can get a lot more benefits with legal representation. Even my 3 year old knows I need to be paid for services rendered.