If my children end up alcoholics by the third grade, it will totally be my fault

Today was "Water Day" at Eric's preschool. Parents and families were invited to watch their wildlings jump from kiddie pool to kiddie pool in 90+ degree heat. It was a lot of fun. Seriously.

Parents were given a list of items to bring including water shoes, a change of clothes, sunscreen, and a towel for the kids to sit on during snack time in addition to drying off.

These were the towels of the other kids in Eric's class...
And this was my son's towel:
Encouraging alcohol consumption, one preschooler at a time. I'm pretty sure this is why my kids don't get play dates.