Wednesday, April 1, 2009


Every night when I start counting contractions, I think 'this might be the last night that I have only one child.' And every morning when I wake up, I go into Eric's room and see his excited face and think 'will this be our last day together?'

Every day is bittersweet for me. I try to spend as much time with him as possible. Maybe the subconscious part of me is afraid of Rachel being born and that's why it's taking her so long. I love my son so much, and a part of me doesn't want the time with him to change. I am torn between being excited about Rachel becoming a part of this family and sad that Eric's life (and mine) is about to change for good. I wonder if this is normal for all moms about to welcome another child, or is I'm just overly melancholy.


PG said...

Given your wonderfully unsentimental view of marriage and motherhood, I think you would appreciate this. (I don't normally read Jezebel, but it's the only site I saw that had it.)

emma said...

It changes you, it changes him, but as chaotic as it can get some days, you're all changed for the better. Hang in there & you know I'm "down the street" when the chaos hits & you need an ear or some help.

Jen said...

ah, PG... Loved the French Vogue photos. If only all of us new moms looked so glamorous (and could keep our sense of humor!). :-)

Emma, thank you. It's hard for me to ask for help. I'm one of those people who feels like if I can't do it all by myself, I'm a failure. I hope this part of my personality fades *very* quickly once Rachel arrives. :-)