Just one of those days...

I'm just going to step away from the whole 100 day challenge thing for today. It was one of those mornings where God had to gently remind me that I do not lead a charmed life. My 3 year-old has been skipping naps AND getting up at 6:30 in the morning. My daughter was a thug for the Russian mob in her past life and continues to bite, kick, and shove everyone who gets in the way of her toys. It was lovely to get clocked in the mouth with a guitar after lunch. But the highlight of my day was vomiting in the middle of the grocery store parking lot for no reason and getting it in my hair before going shopping (No, I'm not pregnant). One day, they say, I will look back on this time of my life and smile. Sure.

BUT I wanted to share a hilarious post I found from my blogging idol. I'm all for making my small cliche of readers have a good laugh. The entire post is a great read, but the part on the pros and cons of being a stay-at-home-mom was what I could TOTALLY relate to...

The PROS of being a stay-at-home mom: You don’t have to shower until noon. If your child is under 6 months old, you can watch zombie movies and The Big Lebowski all day and they totally won’t care. Pajamas are your new uniform. You’re always home to sign for packages. You get to see all the cool things your kid does all day. Your kid isn’t exposed to the petri-dish of germs that is daycare. You feel like Donna Reed. You don’t have to deal with that bitch at work anymore. Your partner thinks you’re amazing. You have the quiet satisfaction of doing what’s right for your children.

The CONS of being a stay-at-home mom: You don’t have time to shower ever. If your child is over 6 months old, you have to watch really shitty kids TV all the time and you have weird sex dreams about Thomas the Train. All of your pajamas have bodily fluids on them. And not the good kind. You accidentally show your boobs to the mailman/cable guy/next door neighbor.* You realize that your kid is boring and/or an asshole and you can never escape from them. You want to knife Donna Reed for making it look so easy. You irrationally shout, “STAY-AT-HOME MOMS ARE WORKING MOMS” every time you read an article like this and then you shake your head and wonder how you got like this. You feel so lonely that you actually start to miss that bitch at work. Your partner wants to rest after a long day of work and they don’t understand that you need to rest too and they say something like, “Why? What did you do all day? This house is a wreck” and then you have to go to jail for stabbing them in the shoulder. You find that prison is a pleasant break from being a stay-at-home mom. You secretly worry that you’re making the wrong decision.

And by the way, the pros and cons of being a working mom are just as hysterical. I had to share...

*The sad thing is my friend Laurie stayed with us for a summer when I was still breastfeeding Rachel, and she used to keep a daily tally on how many times she saw my breasts. Unfortunately, she kept it on her hand so every time she changed a dirty diaper, the lines were erased putting her back at square one. But she's pretty sure she got up to two dozen every day. Rachel ate a lot. :-)